Two Seraphim and an Archangel walk into a Monster Nest
by Nienna Nir
Summary: It's Castiel's first real mission for the Garrison; a simple check in on the Righteous Man followed by your standard smiting of evil. So if it's all so cut and dry why does it seem like everything's going wrong?


"One job, you had one job, Cassie, and you blew it!" Castiel fidgeted nervously, rocking back and forth on his feet uneasily as he stared at the back of his brother's head in the crowded market street. It was the first time he'd been to Canaan and to hear his other brothers and sisters describe it he'd imagined it a bit more picturesque with rolling hills and grazing flocks and quaint villages with friendly people. This was definitely not like that. There was a terrified cry and a young boy nearly knocked him over in his haste to flee from a pair of laughing, brutish men. A hand landed on his shoulder, steadying him and he leaned into the contact in fright.

"Go easy on him, Gabe, he's only a kid." Gabriel whirled on them both, his amber eyes flashing.

"I really don't need this from you right now, Balthazar," Gabriel hissed before turning on Castiel once more. "What did I tell you? We're checking on Abe, just a sit down, message from Dad, and then we go... we don't tell him _anything_!"

"The guy's charming," Balthazar defended with an elegant shrug, wrapping a protective arm around Castiel's shoulders as his brother stared, wide eyed at a woman dragging a man into an alleyway. "It's his first real mission, Gabe."

"This was supposed to be a simple, cut and dry smiting and now we're stuck here in this hell hole," Gabriel declared in frustration. "Hunting the only guy in town who isn't a homicidal maniac. And it's all your fault." He poked Castiel in the chest.

"They can't all be bad, Gabe," Castiel insisted in frustration, his blue eyes narrowing in a defensive scowl. "Abraham is a good man. How could one man be so kind and an entire city be beyond redemption?"

"Because the bad apples rot together," Gabriel stated in exasperation. Balthazar snorted in amusement and Gabriel glared at him. "This is why Dad doesn't let you guys handle these things on your own, you completely screw them up! We're finding Abe's nephew and we're flattening this place." Castiel opened his mouth to protest but his words were drowned out by a blood curdling scream. Balthazar grasped hold of him, dragging him along after Gabriel who was running flat out around the corner ahead. They skidded to a stop in time to see three men ransacking a corpse in the middle of the street, cold laughter descending from some of the merchants at the surrounding stalls. Castiel stared in horror.

"People travel though here Cassie," Gabe's voice lowered to a hiss, his hand sweeping in the direction of the mangled body lying in the street. "and _this_ is what happens to them. And this isn't the half of it. This place is nothing more than a trap where innocents are tortured by villains and monsters. There are things living here that aren't human and the humans here aid them. It's in the middle of the only trade road for miles. Do you have any idea how many decent people have died here? Dad says it has to go, so it's going."

"I don't understand, Bal," Castiel's eyes welled but his face was twisted in an angry frown as Balthazar pulled him along, keeping him close as they followed in Gabriel's wake. "Abraham is a generous, good-natured man. How can any of these people be human? They're nothing like him."

"Gabe's nothing like Luci," Balthazar said gently. "It's the same thing. He's the Righteous Man. Abraham and those like him will always do what is right, but even they have their faults. No matter how good their hearts they still make mistakes."

"In here," Gabriel held open a door, his eyes sweeping the street nervously. "And for all that's holy, Cassie, don't you dare make those stupid doe eyes at anyone. They'll be after you next." Castiel stared at him with an alarmed expression as Balthazar shoved him through the open door into the thick smell of smoke and incense and bad wine.

"This is a den of iniquity," Castiel gulped, backing into Balthazar's chest.

"Yes," Balthazar stated with his most smarmy grin, lowering the hood that obscured his face and winking suggestively at a young woman loitering near the door. "Yes it is."

"You can get your rocks off when we go down to Egypt," Gabriel promised with a sigh. "The girls down there are less likely to rob you blind and eat your kidneys."

"Aw, come on, it's her last night on earth," Balthazar joked, tugging Castiel after him as Gabriel approached the proprietor. "Have a heart." Gabriel shot him a withering look before turning to the smoke ringed little man before them.

"We're looking for a fellow named Lot, you heard of him?" Gabriel asked, his fingers lightly jingling his coin purse.

"You boys aren't from around here, are you?" The old man asked with an evil grin that made Castiel shudder.

"You don't want to do that," Gabriel advised. "You really don't."

* * *

"I think Michael's right and I'm not cut out for this," Castiel declared, his eyes wide with shock, Gabriel herding him along down the crowded street.

"I'm inclined to agree with him," Gabriel sighed. "Next time, Cassie, stick to the plan."

"I would dearly love to know what Dad was thinking with you, Cassie," Balthazar chuckled. "Wrath isn't in your nature." Castiel shot him an angry look.

"I'll tell you what I'm thinking," Gabriel stated as they made their way down the narrow street. "The next time your garrison is called out to protect the Righteous Man, Raphael can mind you. I'm done."

"I'm going to tell him you're the one who dulled all the edges on his sword," Balthazar threatened with a grin.

"Go ahead," Gabriel shot back. He let slip a snort of amusement. "You have to admit that was pretty funny." Balthazar laughed.

"Why is Abraham's nephew living in a place like this?" Castiel demanded angrily. "It's a pit of vipers!"

"Cassie, try not to think so much, you're not any good at it," Gabriel pleaded, stopping in front of a door and knocking harshly as Castiel gave him an irritated glower. The door opened to reveal dark hair and eyes that vaguely resembled a face they had met on the road outside the city the day before.

"Lot?" Gabriel asked. The man looked the three of them over.

"Shit," he declared before he could stop himself.

"Oh good, you know what we are," Balthazar said genially. "That'll save time."

"Pack up," Gabriel ordered, pushing his way into the home, sparing only a glance for the man's wife and daughters. "You guys are leaving town. Now."

"I know why you're here," Lot's face was pale but he had the resolute expression of someone who was good at dealing and didn't like to lose. Castiel ignored the exchange, his attention shifting to the oldest of the girls who was staring at him in a way that made him uncomfortable. Her younger sister turned her attention to him as well and he shuffled a step closer to Balthazar who leaned over his shoulder with a smile that could melt butter, eyeing the girls appreciatively.

"Not now!" Gabriel insisted, pointing a finger at Balthazar before turing back to Lot. "This isn't a debate, it's a warning. We'll give you two hours. Whatever you do, do not look back."

There was a rough knock on the door and Lot jumped. Gabriel rolled his eyes shooting a glare at Castiel as if it were his fault.

"Hey Lot!" a drunken voice shouted though the door. "Who's your pretty friend?" Castiel's eyes widened as Balthazar struggled not to laugh.

"Who's his friends?" another voice demanded. "one of them just gutted a whole house full of whores down the street. We want em, now!"

"That was not my fault!" Balthazar insisted as Gabriel opened his mouth, a reprimand on his lips. "That was all you. I just helped." Gabriel rolled his eyes. He hated days like this.

* * *

"One job, Cassie!" Gabriel fairly stomped down the rubble strewn road, heading south. "One!" flaming debris fluttered down around them, molten gravel sizzling against the ground here and there as they walked. Castiel cringed slightly, looking at Balthazar for support but for once their brother didn't come to his defense.

"It was a simple mistake, Gabriel," Castiel insisted.

"The only thing you had to do was to keep anything from leaving the city once Lot's family was outside," Gabriel growled. "So you tell me how that gorgon got out."

"She was so small and she looked so harmless," Castiel defended bitterly. "I didn't realize she wasn't human. They look the same until they're attacking."

"They don't look the same, Cassie," Balthazar shook his head. "Did you remember to check her eyes?"

"No," Castiel admitted swallowing as Gabriel shot him a withering look over his shoulder.

"And now Lot's wife is a salt rock statue and I have to report this!" Gabriel almost whined.

"If she hadn't looked back like you warned them," Balthazar began.

"Don't," Gabriel glared at him. "Lets just go to Egypt and pretend this whole disaster never happened."

"Shouldn't we go tell Abraham..." Castiel began.

"No!" Gabriel and Balthazar answered in unison.

"Seriously, Cassie, what is the over developed sense of mercy you have?" Balthazar demanded, draping an arm around his shoulders.

"I don't know," Castiel huffed glowering at the back of Gabriel's head. "I promise next time I'll be more vengeful."

"I am never going to live this one down," Gabriel sighed.

"I'll help you prank Michael," Balthazar offered. "It'll make you feel better."

"Someone please explain to me how a simple smiting can go so horribly wrong," Gabriel shook his head.

"Providence," Balthazar suggested. Castiel had the good sense to wince.

"That's it, I'm done!" Gabriel declared, throwing his hands in the air, the last of Sodom and Gomorrah raining down ash around them.


End file.
